Posted in I'm the Daddy

The Day After

On Sunday I wrote a post about the day George was born. Writing that post was one of the main reasons I started my blog but I had been putting it off because I found it too painful to think about. I only started writing on Sunday because my lovely wife had written her post about the same day and it brought it all back. It was time to get my thoughts out of my head and start to move on.

The part I found hardest to write was about telling George everything was going to be alright while he lay in NICU. I am an optimist and I only tell people ‘things are going to be alright’ if I really mean it. To have to say that to my day old son and not know if I believed has stuck in my chest ever since. I felt like I let him down and needed to get these feelings out in the open.

I posted to my blog, breathed a sigh of relief and waited for the catharsis that didn’t come. I felt incredibly low. I simultaneously wanted everyone to read it and no one to read it. I can’t really explain why. After a miserable Sunday I woke up on Monday morning feeling even worse. Couldn’t shake my mood or really explain why I was feeling like this.

This all began to change when we started sharing our blog posts with a number of charities, most notably The Meningitis Trust and Group B Strep Support. Their reaction and their willingness to share our story with their supporters was really important to me. Knowing that the post I wrote could help to support the good work they were doing made me feel so much better. Now I feel much more able to put the trauma of George’s birth behind me and focus on the beautiful little boy in my arms.

Despite a third of women carrying Group B Strep, not all pregnant women are routinely screened for it. This is a shocking fact, considering the quite devastating consequences of it being undetected and untreated. Had it not been for the swift administration of antibiotics, my story may have not had such a happy ending. Please sign the petition to make this test routine for all pregnant women.

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4 thoughts on “The Day After

  1. One of the hardest things about being a parent is not being in complete control of the health and happiness of the little people who mean more to you than your own life and anyone else in it. What you did was the absolute right thing, you gave your son words of comfort and hope. And that will have helped him fight through. You had to learn this tough lesson in fatherhood within hours of meeting your son, a time when most of us are just learning to grapple with nappies and feeding! You and your wife did amazingly!!

  2. I’m sorry to read that you felt so bad on Sunday/Monday but I’m very pleased to read that you’re on a good way to let the past behind you. Little George will be an even happier chap if he can now get your full attention/focus/love/you name it he so deserves. 🙂

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